Relationship advice? Do you think its okay if... (1 Viewer)

doc holiday

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Dec 12, 2011
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Redondo Beach, CA
Hey I just want to get some opinions on this, if you are married and your wife goes to the movies with a guy you don't know... the only thing you know about him is that he is an ex, he has has hit on her while she was in the relationship with you, sent her love poems and even compared his girlfriend at the time to your wife saying something like "she isn't you" but your wife said he has apologized about it to her.


Would you be uncomfortable with that? Not telling her to not go... just uncomfortable about it. Honest answer.
 

Gaudkiller

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Jul 19, 2012
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I honestly would be a little freaked out, but she is married to you and chose you :)
 

Rafiee

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I wouldn't necessarily be worried, just uncomfortable like you said. Let her know how you feel

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Rafiee

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How did you ask? Could have made her defensive. Women are fickle creatures

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doc holiday

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Dec 12, 2011
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How did you ask? Could have made her defensive. Women are fickle creatures

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If someone's girlfriend/wife came with directions, please pass it around lol.

Well I said I was uncomfortable with the situation, I never met him and all I know is he's an ex and he has hit on my wife while we were together so I don't trust him whatsoever. So my wife just replied "He's my friend now and If I want to hang out with my friends, I'm not just going to stay home cause you feel uncomfortable." From there it turned into an argument.
 

ZBarZ

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Sep 28, 2012
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Looking at it from an outside perspective it seems like she's not taking YOUR emotions into consideration. My mother has been married to my father for 25 years and not once has she gone out with another man to the movies alone. Specially an ex. So, from my point of view, it just seems odd. I'm not wedded myself so I have no experience to offer in actual marital advice; besides clarifying to her the situation makes you uncomfortable, calmly. From a relationship perspective, outside of marriage, I would not let my girl go out with an ex alone, period. Most definitely if he's already been known to flirt and text knowing I'm with her. However, do take into consideration that your wife might be trying to send you a message(s). That she wants more attention from you. Don't jump the gun immediately with assumptions. Anyways, that's all I got. Best of wishes to you and your wife, Doc.
 

Cybernetcrash

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Have you ever restricted going out with other friends? If she says you're trying to keep her home while you only felt uncomfortable with this single case because of her ex, then that's unfair and she's trying to make you feel guilty.

I've never being married, so I don't feel I'd be the best person to give advice on the specific issue.
 
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PirateMaal

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Aug 4, 2012
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Some of my closest friends are exs. I have known them for over a decade at this point and I never really consider them as exs anymore, they are just friends. And in an odd way a few are family. I would have an inssue if I was told I couldn't spend time with them. One of my best guy friends used to come hang out at my house all the time, because he lived two block away and would walk over. We had dinner together a few times, have gone to the movies, and all sorts of other things. I doubt I would have done any of that had he hit on me ever though.
 

toki

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She's doing it bc she thinks she is the only one who can help him get over her. She probably has a really good heart and tries to help everyone. The fact is that she is with you and even though you can trust her should be a given, on the other hand, the guy she is gonna see a movie with is probably not trustworthy.

An ex? there's a reason they are over. He sounds like an a-hole, he knows she is with you and says dbag things and compares her to his gf? Just remind her you love her regardless but that you consider what she is doing to be playing with fire. Let her know you respect her and who she wants to be friends with but that she runs the risk of her kind heart being taken advantage of and to remember that you and her have a special bond of love and trust and respect. She isn't some lovelorn bundle of raging hormones, she's an adult fully capable of making adult decisions. you can fight with her all you want but she is the one who has to decide here.

It's possible to be friends with ex's but in this case where he's still in love with your wife, just sounds like a mistake waiting to happen, sorry. Probably not what you wanted to hear.

oh yeah, so in response to:

Would you be uncomfortable with that? Not telling her to not go... just uncomfortable about it. Honest answer.
well. hell yea i would be uncomfortable with that.
 

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