The day that someone comes to me and is afraid to talk to me because im an officer is a scary day indeed to everyone here I started as a private too, sure i may not be one now but i was just like you all new to the clan wanted to make friends and game. I understand where a lot of you new members come from when you join a room with a leader or general, its a bit weird and nerve racking but its okay i can vouch for a great part of this community that were all very chill people tbh it was [MENTION=54096]ChaosKnightI[/MENTION] who brought this to my attention, he was afraid to stay in the room with a bunch of us officers and i just talked to him asked him how he found fever and made him feel welcome here. We are all people when i join a room i dont talk to people thinking that your any higher or lesser then me i talk to you as my friend a gamer someone who just wants to talk and i get that tbh i just wanna talk too make friends act stupid sometimes and get a good laugh in and I am always telling people your welcome here so never let rank get in the way for why your really here to make this clan your gaming home
See, this whole worry thing followed me from the old community I was in where the leadership was always demanding of me for everything I did - and for good reason. I was very stupid back then, I made mistakes that I know shouldn't be forgiven, I was just a piece of trash that had to go about it alone, and was always a bother to everyone. Hence why, at least with the leadership, I didn't want to make myself look like an absolute idiot, and I wanted to maintain a friendly relationship with everyone, even [MENTION=1]Bogo[/MENTION] who was in the room at the time. I just didn't want to be hated again, I don't value staff higher than anyone else and I'm very insecure but I think everyone can understand I'm just a bit biased towards them because they've probably earned it through being useful and mature, something which I'm not, but I try to pretend I am, and I look up to them and I don't want them to hate me, of course I'd be scared, I don't want to make a mistake and lose everyone's respect just by talking... I don't want to go through the pain of settling in and then saying goodbye later...
If I have to be completely honest, I wanted to be extra careful with Bogo because he's the leader here and if we end up disliking each other there will be no reason for me to be here, I know as a leader he's probably very busy with the clan and I just don't want to be the same bother to everyone that I've been all my life, there's many people I already have a bond with and I don't want to have to leave them behind because I was stupid and made an idiot of myself in front of the clan leader, same goes for all the other people with an L, or even an O on their shield in TS...
I feel really bad now because I am the reason that you had to waste your time comforting me, and I'm just the same bother I've been all my life... But thank you, [MENTION=27996]Ghost[/MENTION], and not only you, but everyone who told me "no problem" in that room, even Bogo, thank you all for accepting me... I feel like I can finally say I have a place I actually fit in for once, and I feel like some day I might open up and not be hated just because I'm annoying and never stop talking...
Thank you all. I love this place already.
P.S.: I know this post probably doesn't make a lot of sense. I'm horrible at words. I'm sorry.
Ah, I really don't think [MENTION=27996]Ghost[/MENTION] felt like he was "wasting his time" by writing that (really good) post.
I can understand your thoughts at some point, but the better you'll hopefully notice that such excessive "caution" isn't really necessary here.
I mean: In the end we're all the same, we're all gamers that're trying to have fun (at least I think that^^).
Its an ongoing issue which i hope will change in the years to come. From my experience, i've had people both officers and members come to me about questions they have and i have no problem answering them. Just hit me up.